The Mathematics of Attitude

Reader,
Today Dominic taught me a very serious lesson. The lesson came from observing his fit over math. I had a lunch scheduled with two dear friends that I do not get to see very often and was hurriedly getting ready to meet them. Dominic was working on schoolwork and had breezed through his workbook pages for reading and had started on his math, when he suddenly just shut down and started complaining that he needed help. Normally I probably would have sat down and helped him, but I was in a hurry for an adult break...you know, a few minutes set aside to combine adult conversation and female laughter. These things, when experienced together = STRESS RELIEF… SOOOOO important in my life right now. As I looked at the four lines of simple addition problems, I realized that this was the lesson that involved adding and subtracting 1. I decided we should nip this in the bud right away. I explained the concept again of adding and subtracting 1, because we had extensively discussed each process using edible items to ensure that he completely grasped the concept of number representation. After the thorough explanation, I charged him again to get it done. A few minutes later I came and checked back and he had not done anything and copped major attitude toward the assignment. He was promptly asked to go to his room and collect himself.

When we were finished discussing the attitude issue, he came back to the sheet and I went back to brushing my teeth and applying some make-up so I could actually feel like a woman at this lunch - isn't it funny how it takes a certain amount of thought to remember what it is like to enjoy yourself as a woman; not a mother, wife, student, employee or caretaker...just a woman. Reader, if you do not remember the last time you did something that made you feel beautiful then put it at the top of your day's to-do list and think of one thing and do it. If a woman loses her identity in womanhood, she then has no basis for motherhood. Kids need a feminine mother, whether they are a boy or a girl or a whole hoard of both.

Anyway, I lost my train of thought…oh yes! So, he went back to the kitchen table with his worksheet of +1 and – 1 and within a total of 4 minutes was back in the bathroom asking me to come and check the sheet for accuracy so he can earn his sticker. I went over there in total disbelief that he had been able to finish the four lines of problems in that amount of time. My disbelief proved unsubstantiated. He HAD finished each problem and they were 100 % correct. You know in that moment I just looked at him and felt a twinge of frustration mixed with pride. I was proud that he had done the assignment with such speed and accuracy and then at the same time was totally TORKED OFF! Why had he not just done the problems without causing such a ruckus during the moments before? Why did he have to get me all flustered!?!? In that moment as he sat there grinning at me waiting for his sticker I really wanted to pull his lower lip up over his face.

On my way to lunch, I found myself thinking about how much his behavior had just bugged me and then I was presented with the thought that I am not much different. I thought of a few lessons the Holy Spirit has been teaching me lately and how ungracefully I have responded to that teaching. How many times have I walked around a mountain of an issue just because I did not feel like doing whatever it was that I needed to do when God was calling me to do it? I think I have finally realized how I have become so easily led by my feelings over the last 6 months or so. I have begun praying that God would rectify the matter of authority in my heart and bring some continuity to how I respond throughout my daily walk of life.

Reader, I don’t know about you, but the large picture of life is almost overwhelming to me right now, so I tend to concentrate on the present day and this present day alone. I want the Lord to be so apart of my decision making process that my feelings toward whatever particular subject I am faced with does not weigh in so heavily. I want my son to experience consistency in how I act each day. My feelings are my feelings and I will not ignore them, but they do not need to determine my actions. Regardless of whether I am overwhelmed with frustration, pain, hurt, desire, moodiness or random hormone surges – because we all know they happen – I want to be grounded in what I know to be true: My God is for me. It is a really good thing that God does not reach down from heaven and pull our lower lip up over our face when we give him a hard time…maybe patience and goodness with be the next lessons in my life...we will see!

Laura Araujo