The Comparing of Bounds

Dear Reader,


Monday morning I woke up feeling fresh and ready for a walk. I was in a contemplative mood and ready for the fresh air to get my blood pumping. It was like I was ready to hear something from the Lord, but just couldn't make it out laying under the covers. Well, boy was I in for a treat!

I pulled on my sneaks, grabbed the leash and opened the door. Bella, our big Golden, and Minka, our cat, both bounded out the door into the sunshine of the morning. It is Minka's morning routine to go out and gallivant around the yard for an hour or so and then she comes in, eats breakfast and continues to snooze for approximately... oh, the rest of the day. This morning, though, she was about to be the object of my lesson.

I snapped the leash on Bella's collar and she and I climbed our way up the hill of rocks to the little parking lot above our house, which leads to the beginning of a trail on which we stay for the next 45 minutes to an hour or so. We hit the blacktop with both our tails waggin' until I heard "tink, tink, tink, tink." The sound of Minka's bell. I turn around and there is Minka following us. She has quite the attitude, as most Siamese do, and walked right up to me as if she thought she was joining us on our walk. I gave a little chuckle, picked her up and turned to go back to the house only to be abruptly stopped by Bella, who did not find it amusing that our walk had merely begun and we were already turning around for home. After a bit of tugging Bella let up and all three of us bounced down the rock hill to the yard. Minka ran off under the patio and I figured she would be fine. Bella and I again ran up the hill of rocks to the blacktop and began our walk.

"Tink, tink, tink, tink," rang out in the still morning behind us. I turned around to see Minka this time running through the rocks to catch up with us. Behind me Bella gave a "humph!" Again, Minka came right up to me and I bent to pick her up. As I turned back for the house a second time Bella really put on the brakes. She practically sat down on the pavement and looked at me like, "Lady, tug all you want, but this old girl is gonna get her walk today!" At this I just started laughing! I stood in that parking lot and just laughed! Here I was with a cat that was jealous and a dog that was stubborn and me, the chic who just wanted to walk and open herself up to what God wanted to say. I got behind Bella and gave a big push in the direction of home and once again bounced down the hill of rocks and this time put Minka safely inside.

After getting Bella back up the hill of rocks, we were on our way to freedom. Still laughing, I pondered the irony of the morning's events. Then I heard the Lord's voice. Some of us are like my dog. Bella knew what she was meant to do in that moment; she knew the way she was to go and she was ready to do it. Although she was confident of these things she was not the most willing individual when inconvenience ensued. Then some of us are like my cat. Sometimes we compare where we should be with others who do not have the same purpose in life that we do. Minka followed us out of the boundary of the yard, because she was sure she should be with the dog. This was not the truth.

Sometimes our desire to find a model or a formula ends up being the thing that knocks us out of the bounds God has placed for us and we find ourselves in unknown territory. It was a powerful image for me and I have continued to chew on it for the last few days. Being the unmarried, sick of college, homeschooling mom that I am (LOL), I have a few daily temptations to compare myself to others. The thing of it is, there is no comparison for my life or the life of my child. Yes, there are guidelines that are laid out in God's Word that we are to follow and yield to, but no one else has lived my life while bearing the fruit I am expected by God to bring forth. This comical analogy has delivered to me a clear picture. If this next year asks of me new things that I don't have a ready-made template for will I say "yes"? Is my heart prepared for a new road, if that is what should be posed? I hope my heart is soft enough to take whatever leading and guiding the Holy Spirit offers. Lord, make the soil of my heart ready for the season at hand and keep my hands upturned and open to you. Amen.

What about you, Reader?

Things to ponder:

1. Are you more like the dog or the cat in my story?
2. If you are more like the dog, can the Lord's voice pierce through the confidence you have that you are where you need to be? How would you compare confidence and peace?
3. If you are more like the cat, in what ways have you stepped out of bounds from where the Lord has you to be? Jot down the things the Holy Spirit brings to mind and begin to pray that the Lord would provide a plumb line to return to.

The Perfect Tree of Green

Dear Reader,

I fear it is nearing time to take the beautiful decorations off and extinguish the lights. Our beautiful Christmas tree of green has served our home as a beacon of joy these last few weeks. Our tradition with the tree begins on the 1st Saturday of December each year when we tromp out into the Colorado National Forest and pluck the first tree that speaks to us. This year the trees were silent for an entire 2 1/2 hours. Dominic would say, "Mom, what about this one?" and I would promptly remind him that we were looking for a tree WITH branches. Lord, have mercy!

Finding the perfect tree is somewhat of an art. In the forest, trees tend to grow in clumps. There will be 2 or 3 trees that grow close together so as to support one another. This is great and looks incredible in its natural environment, but not so good for a Christmas tree. The perfect tree has a profile: always stands in the midst of other trees, yet somewhat set apart so its branches grow full on all sides. Trees like this are rare and special.

Tonight as I sit in front of our perfect tree, I ponder what kind of tree am I? Do I need others to grow closely around me so I feel fuller or can I stand majestically on my own? What kind of tree are you, dear Reader?

Jesus was the perfect tree, relying on no one for appearance sake. He was Truth. His branches were strong and broad and covered a multitude of people's needs. He yearned for time, rested when he could and continued to stretch out his branches unyieldingly. He is life.

I think I want new life, but what I mean more often is I want a different life. When I want a different life, I look for those who have the life I think I want and then I watch them. The thing that I realized over the last couple of days is that I have not really committed myself to any life. I am a tree that has placed myself around other trees for comfort and protection. Yet I know not how to fulfill the purpose for which I was created.

This Christmas has been the most peace-filled celebration of joy I have ever experienced. The season and cheer has brought me to a point where I realize it is time for a transplant. The thing is, a tree cannot transplant itself. It must rely on another, full of experience and wisdom, to choose for it a spot where it might grow strong and full. Tonight I have prayed that the Lord would begin a season of transplant in my heart; that He would beckon me alone with Him where I would submit my positioning for His purpose. What about you, Reader? Is it time to look around at where you find yourself in this world? Are you so close to others that you have begun to grow into one another? Can you get alone with the Lord? Maybe it is time for a season of transplant in your heart also.

In the Bleak Midwinter

Dear Reader,

My mom has always believed in my ability to write and has encouraged me to write for Reader's Digest. I keep putting it off and putting it off, but tonight I think she got me. I am going to send something in, I've decided. Talking with her tonight made me think of my long lost blog. Then I jumped on Facebook and found that my sister-in-law Rebecca began blogging today and I felt the need to return to the structure of a blank slate. As I was looking at the blogs I did post when I began this venture last year, I realized how few I have actually written. So here we go again! Time to post.

I told my mom the story I am about to share with you tonight. Again she told me to write it down and send it in to Reader's Digest. Last year for Christmas she even went as far as to get me a subscription to the little magazine so I could begin to see potential. So I decided to share the story here first.

We have a good friend Paul. Paul has been having some memory problems as of late, but he truly is the sweetest man you could ever meet. For Christmas, Dominic and I took Paul to the Colorado Springs Chorale seasonal concert "Deck the Halls". Paul has sung for many years and has well defined himself by his ability to sing. He shares with us often that his late wife Wanda always used to tell him, "Paul, you are a singer, but not a musician." Still music lives on in Paul's heart, but in a different way. He no longer sings in the chorale and feels he is too old, yet he longs for those memories to be alive and active again of those days when he was strong.

I find that I do this also. I long for times when good memories could be alive and active again. Last year was an entire year of wanting to come back to life again. Things were very difficult this 2010 year. It was a wandering year. A year that produced a straying from all I knew to be true of myself. I stopped being creative and so in essence I stopped producing things that brought me life. Joy was hidden and I didn't know where to begin looking for it. Then I met Paul.

As we sat in our balcony seats Dominic told Paul all about what happened last time we were at this concert. Paul talked and told Dominic of his days as a bass in the choir and we pleasantly chatted until the lights dimmed. The choir made its way down the side isles of the Pikes Peak Center and a single note broke the silence from the piano. Suddenly the space around us began to swirl with the beauty of voices as they sang In the Bleak Midwinter. My breath spontaneously caught in my chest and suddenly I took a deep breath. I looked over at Paul and watched the tears of joy and rejouvination crawl down his face. He looked so youthful again; such a wash of memory!

Music feeds our human souls. Not because it becomes a part of us, but because we become a part of it. We like being a part of something. This year I have been challenged to really evaluate why I believe that God sent a baby, named Jesus, to the earth to eventually grow into the man who at 33 years old was hung on a tree with nails through his flesh to save me from my sinful self. Sitting in that concert and watching Paul come back to a lost love, I felt myself doing the same thing. I realized that I am not confident of my belief in God, because he sent his son to be a part of my life. Jesus will never force himself upon us. Sitting there I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, "You have a fresh choice everyday to be a part of something, but you must be an active participant in your choice." Like music feeds our human souls, our relationship with Jesus feeds our life. Life is what I want.

Just this last month, from about October on, I have felt myself coming alive again. Sometimes we forget that in the bleak midwinter is when we are secretly preparing ourselves for spring. Never give up hope, dear reader, because like Paul we may not remember what day it is today, but we can will ourselves to remember the things the Lord has done in, to and through us. Let yourself feel the swirl of God's presence in the space around you and worship, remember and have gratitude for the moments throughout life that you have been priviledged enough to have been apart of. Treasure those memories and live again. Over and over, year after year, live again. Below are the words that brought tears to Paul's eyes and light to my heart:

In the bleak midwinter, frost wind made moan,

earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;

snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,

in the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Our God, heaven cannot hold him, nor earth sustain;

heaven and earth shall flee away when he comes to reign.

In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed

the Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

Angels and archangels may have gathered there,

cherubim and seraphim thronged the air;

but his mother only, in her maiden bliss,

worshiped the beloved with a kiss.

What can I give him, poor as I am?

If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;

if I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;

yet what I can I give him: give my heart.





February 2010...what is to come!

Success

To laugh often and much,

To win the respect of intelligent people

and the affection of children,

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure

the betrayal of false friends

To appreciate beauty,

to find the best in others!

To leave the world a bit better,

whether by a healthy child,

a garden patch

or a redeemed social condition.

To know even one life has breathed easier

because you have lived ~

This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dear Reader,

December was filled with the holiday and January has been a sabbatical month for rest, but February is calling for a rising forth of grace. I can feel the beckoning of new life and refreshed dreams and although I want it all from the depths of my soul I still find myself nervous of the change. Change has been something that Dominic and I have become pros at, but this will be a new kind of change. I somehow know this and no I am not a fortune teller. I can just feel it and yes Mary Poppins was my long lost great aunt...shhhhh. There is just this whisper on the air. It is hope.

The month of December was filled with some hard choices and boxes. If it weren't for my friends Tracy and Sasha I would have been renting a room from Cedar Springs and no it is not a ski resort I am talking about; loony bin more like it. We bathed my colorful, wonderfully homey Victorian apartment in downtown Colorado Springs in white and proceeded to move our things into a quaint apartment on the 3rd floor. The night that we moved the furniture into the new apartment I sat down to eat a piece of pineapple and bell pepper pizza (don't ask me how that happened...it was not what we ordered) and I could not hold it back anymore. I started leaking over pizza. As the tears rolled down my cheeks I looked around the tiny space we had just rented and then met the eyes of my dear friend and said, "Where are we going to put the animals when they get here?" As the boxes were unpacked and paint was slathered on the walls (coat one = poop brown, coat two = chocolate) it began to feel more and more like home. Now I am ever so grateful for this little space allotted to Dominic and I and enjoy being in it.

Tracy and her husband, Jeff, were more than saints and lugged many boxes for me up and down the flights of stairs. I feel so very blessed to have the people in my life that I do. God has begun to extend much mercy through those that love us every day. **I promise I will give away a lot of stuff this year LOL** When the last load was delivered I looked at the kid and said, "pack your bag kid - we are going to Grandma and Grandpa's for Christmas!" He looked at me and said, "Only if Santa goes to California for Christmas." Of course he does...the "Santa gift" was already packed safely on the floor of the passenger seat under a blanket. And we were off!!! I had to get out of town and drive. In 30 hours we were arriving at my parent's house in the middle of the night and after a brief sleep (I mean very brief! We never do Christmas in the AM until this year when the brothers showed up with their families at 9:00AM!!!!!) we were sitting in our pajamas drinking my dad's coffee visiting with everyone. It was perfect!

We got back after a refreshing week of California sunshine and I started a two week stint of classes and Dominic became icefisher extrordinare. It seemed as if I was not stopping long enough to take a breath and that was not going to work. So I prayed, "Lord, I know something has to go from my life, but I don't know how to decide what. I need help." And I went to bed. That week despite how hard I tried I did not pass my Algebra Diagnostic test to prequalify me for Psych Statistics. Without me lifting a finger my answer was given and my load was lightened. School is very light this semester and I am finally being able to take that breath. Dominic and I are plowing into home school and are accomplishing so much. He is loving the fact that he is able to see the fruit of his labor with stickers and this last week he completed his first Explode the Code book! This is what it is all about...success...

I can feel the Lord calming my spirit and quieting the excess noise inside my brain. I am actually anticipatory of what "could be". Honestly, I have been so overwhelmed with the what "is" trying to juggle the madness that was categorized as my life that I have not felt or thought about what "could be" in a long while. It is time to break free of the shackles and begin the journey back to being larger than life, because when life becomes larger than you it sucks! I am laying down the season of black and white and going for the color!

Thank you, Jesus, for the new day that is dawning. Reader, join me on this adventure of seeing what "could be" in this life of yours.

Laura Araujo

Negativity Bias: 8 to 4 or 4 to 8...How do you see life?

Reader,
Recent research shows that younger adults have more tendency toward the negativity bias than older adults, but within the first 2 hours of my day I had evidence contradicting this research. It is one thing to purposefully listen in on someone's conversation with a friend while they have coffee, but to slither your way into their conversation is another.

This morning I found myself awake at 6:30am and decided that as my child was enveloped in slumber it was a good opportunity to read some articles on this idea of negativity bias, a leaning toward negative reactions in response to a particular stimulus, so I gathered my things and slipped in the car and drove off down the street to Starbucks where I settled into a chair with a big fat mug of pumpkin spice latte, hmmmmm....it was the perfect way to start the day. The day continued to get better when within the hour my good friend came through the door to join me for a gab. Then about 10 minutes into our delightful conversation of Psychology junk and mom stuff a woman, appearing to be in her early 60's, sat at the table next to us and joined our conversation. Then she proceeded to take over our conversation for the next 15 minutes if not longer...I have tried to block it out. I feel as though I should wear a sign on my forehead that says, "I'm off duty. Your problems are your problems. Try the person to my right." It got to the point where I just knew she was not going to stop and I was very much looking forward to having a pleasant conversation with my friend, so I decided upon an inductive tactic. "So, Tracy, would you like to run down to the shop down the street with me before I need to shoot home?" I said this with the hopes that Tracy would see what my plan was or she would just agree, instead she said, "What shop?" I just ignored her question and got up to dispose of my dirty dishes and luckily she followed suit and we said our goodbyes to the woman. We promptly went to the bagel place next door and continued our conversation without the redirection of any other agenda from anyone else.

Then I started to think about this incident later in the day. Do I have control of my thoughts or do my thoughts control me? All I could think about while hearing this woman approach the gifts God had given her so negatively was, "Lord, please if this is me just hack me off now!" The sadness of it is that this woman probably rarely gets a break from her thoughts. She does not get to just get up and make a graceful exit to the restaurant next door for relief. How much have we just adopted our unnecessarily negative theories to be the only true way to approach a subject and have become so comfortable in the feeling of being negative that we are unable to recognize the value of being positive? I don't ever want Dominic to feel as though he has a cranky, old mother that he has to put up with because that is the right thing to do. I also don't want Dom to associate me with the word “haggard” at any time within his lifespan.

The Lord tells us to meditate on the things of him and his word day and night. It is not by decreasing the negative reactions that we find relief. Instead it is by increasing our attention to the positive around us that encourages us to look beyond the four fingers in front of our face to where we are given the opportunity to see eight. See eight at every chance you get! Life is hard and stressful and at times just utterly ridiculous...trust me I know...but there is no reason to give up and surrender to the black and white of negativity. Hold strong and fight for vibrant color!

Laura Araujo

The Mathematics of Attitude

Reader,
Today Dominic taught me a very serious lesson. The lesson came from observing his fit over math. I had a lunch scheduled with two dear friends that I do not get to see very often and was hurriedly getting ready to meet them. Dominic was working on schoolwork and had breezed through his workbook pages for reading and had started on his math, when he suddenly just shut down and started complaining that he needed help. Normally I probably would have sat down and helped him, but I was in a hurry for an adult break...you know, a few minutes set aside to combine adult conversation and female laughter. These things, when experienced together = STRESS RELIEF… SOOOOO important in my life right now. As I looked at the four lines of simple addition problems, I realized that this was the lesson that involved adding and subtracting 1. I decided we should nip this in the bud right away. I explained the concept again of adding and subtracting 1, because we had extensively discussed each process using edible items to ensure that he completely grasped the concept of number representation. After the thorough explanation, I charged him again to get it done. A few minutes later I came and checked back and he had not done anything and copped major attitude toward the assignment. He was promptly asked to go to his room and collect himself.

When we were finished discussing the attitude issue, he came back to the sheet and I went back to brushing my teeth and applying some make-up so I could actually feel like a woman at this lunch - isn't it funny how it takes a certain amount of thought to remember what it is like to enjoy yourself as a woman; not a mother, wife, student, employee or caretaker...just a woman. Reader, if you do not remember the last time you did something that made you feel beautiful then put it at the top of your day's to-do list and think of one thing and do it. If a woman loses her identity in womanhood, she then has no basis for motherhood. Kids need a feminine mother, whether they are a boy or a girl or a whole hoard of both.

Anyway, I lost my train of thought…oh yes! So, he went back to the kitchen table with his worksheet of +1 and – 1 and within a total of 4 minutes was back in the bathroom asking me to come and check the sheet for accuracy so he can earn his sticker. I went over there in total disbelief that he had been able to finish the four lines of problems in that amount of time. My disbelief proved unsubstantiated. He HAD finished each problem and they were 100 % correct. You know in that moment I just looked at him and felt a twinge of frustration mixed with pride. I was proud that he had done the assignment with such speed and accuracy and then at the same time was totally TORKED OFF! Why had he not just done the problems without causing such a ruckus during the moments before? Why did he have to get me all flustered!?!? In that moment as he sat there grinning at me waiting for his sticker I really wanted to pull his lower lip up over his face.

On my way to lunch, I found myself thinking about how much his behavior had just bugged me and then I was presented with the thought that I am not much different. I thought of a few lessons the Holy Spirit has been teaching me lately and how ungracefully I have responded to that teaching. How many times have I walked around a mountain of an issue just because I did not feel like doing whatever it was that I needed to do when God was calling me to do it? I think I have finally realized how I have become so easily led by my feelings over the last 6 months or so. I have begun praying that God would rectify the matter of authority in my heart and bring some continuity to how I respond throughout my daily walk of life.

Reader, I don’t know about you, but the large picture of life is almost overwhelming to me right now, so I tend to concentrate on the present day and this present day alone. I want the Lord to be so apart of my decision making process that my feelings toward whatever particular subject I am faced with does not weigh in so heavily. I want my son to experience consistency in how I act each day. My feelings are my feelings and I will not ignore them, but they do not need to determine my actions. Regardless of whether I am overwhelmed with frustration, pain, hurt, desire, moodiness or random hormone surges – because we all know they happen – I want to be grounded in what I know to be true: My God is for me. It is a really good thing that God does not reach down from heaven and pull our lower lip up over our face when we give him a hard time…maybe patience and goodness with be the next lessons in my life...we will see!

Laura Araujo

5,4,3,2,1...Lost it!

Dear Reader,

Today I lost it. The kid just pushed me too far...or is it that I am so tired? I think it is the later and Dominic chose a bad day to traipse around the block without permission. Do you ever question your perspective? Well, I have to or else I can get so singularly focused on something that I forget to consider other variables. This week was one of those examples. Recently I began homeschooling my son. I love it! But when I started this adventure I didn't have a clue how it would turn out and how I would accomplish all that was set before me...Meyers and Briggs would say characteristics true of an idealist. Go ahead and laugh at my naivety. We had prepared a part time schedule for Dom with public school and homeschool. He is to go to his elementary school each day from 8-10:30am. There he will get a reading group, specials, which are music or PE, and science. I was totally stoked about his schedule and very willingly agreed to make this work. Well, then the week came for us to start and I realized, what was I thinking? I didn't have anyone to pick Dom up from school on Tuesdays and Thursdays while I was in my class. So after trying to find a solution to this problem for a couple of weeks, I decided that Dom would accompany me to college on those days and that would have to do, because I am a single mom who in this particular instance, was out of options. So he has been keeping this schedule for the past two weeks.

Saturday morning came and I was determined to sleep in. Friday night I took my Tylenol PM to try to elongate a few extra hours of self induced slumber and drifted off. Well, sleep in I did, until Dominic, the dog and the cat all made their way into my room around 10:30 chanting, "Give me food! Give me food!" Or was that my dream? I don't know. It was a little foggy. Dom crawled into bed and sweetly asked if we were going to be able to go somewhere or do something. I had been waiting all week for Saturday, the day that I did not have to do anything and he wanted to go somewhere! Was he nuts! I grunted a response which must have been satisfactory since he slipped out of the covers to go in search of cereal. As I lay there in bed deciding whether or not I was going to join his cereal efforts or stay right where I was as long as I could, it suddenly dawned on me. My son, apart from two dinner invitations we had accepted, had not been out of the house very much over the last week. Although I had been going from class to class, Dom had not been outside to play or had much contact with kidos his own age this week. I had been so focused on surviving the week that I had made my child into a hermit!

I promptly got out of bed and enthusiastically told him to get dressed because we were going to the skate park...all was well, but I had a pent up pressure inside. It was the pressure a parent gets when they have not had adequate sleep and then goes full steam through the day and night just to get up from the few hours of snooze that they did get to do it all over again. It really can make a person nuts! Well I made it through Saturday with no major crazy moments, but Sunday I could feel it coming. We got up in the morning with plenty of time to get ready for church and were actually on time which is often times not the case. We had a fairly positive morning, went out to lunch with a dear friend of mine and then came home. Dom decided he wanted to play outside and I called the dog out for a brushing...then suddenly no child in sight. I started calling his name only to get silence in return. I looked and looked, but could not see him. After about 10 minutes of me checking around the corner and back upstairs and then around the other corner I see him across the street and down a block at the neighbors house. I suddenly envisioned my hand jetting from my arm and grabbing him by the scruff only to bring him back to me in mid air. I was ready to kill him!

Went and got him and told him to go to his room so we could talk. I thoroughly and calmly, or not so calmly, told him of the dire safety issues surrounding his disobedience and that he was to ask me before he just takes off somewhere...okay, pause...we have all been there with trying to explain an abstract concept to a child who draws Superman when asked to do a self portrait. He cannot even fathom in his mind how a bad guy could get past his wicked Judo skills and have time to swipe him into a car when he would easily throw the bad guy to the ground and punch him in the nuts until he died. Do you see what I am working with here! Anyway, I made parental mistake 500,421...I gave him another chance. But this time he blew it way bigger.

I allowed him to go back down the street under my supervision and visit with his friend that was moving away...I am not a monster. I have a heart. I am a mom. I gave him 20 minutes to visit. Then I promptly went home and called my friends and told them they needed to pick up my child and feed him for me because I was on the verge of losing it and just could not take it anymore! My friend and her husband offered immediately to take him for the evening and I breathed a sigh of relief. They must have been able to hear the seriousness in my voice, or maybe they heard nothing but the tearful sobs and, "Come get Dominic" and they deduced the urgency of my situation hahahaha...nonetheless Randy came to pick him up and when I went to find him down the street I was told that he had gone with his friend to the 7/11 around the corner. He had told the adult that it was fine with me...well when a 10 year old boy tells you something like that you are definitely suppose to believe him!!!! NOT!!!!!! Oh now I was torked. I marched my little butt down the street to the 7/11, but they were not there. I missed them. I walked my butt back and by this time was completely red with a swollen head and steam rolling out of my ears...his life was over...I found him, much to his unpleasantry, and told him in a "mama ain't playing" tone of voice to get his little butt home because he was in trouble.

Well we dealt with the consequences of the disobedience and Randy took him to give me a break. When I closed the door, I just burst into tears. I was so tired in that moment. I truly had nothing left, but tears. Before I became a mom and people thought I had just concocted a cockamamie idea to adopt people had told me how hard it was to be a mom. Now I understand that being a mom is complicated. You love them so much, yet they drive you so nuts. You sacrifice so much just to give them a leg up now and then. You take all the dirty looks in the world for the different decisions that are made in their best interest and all the while it is somehow satisfying and fulfilling to be watching a little person develope into a bigger person. Motherhood is a mental disorder and without it our species would have died out a long time ago. It really is not easy to be this mentally dysfunctional, but the season is short and the fruit will be plentiful...if I can just keep from throwing him out the window :)

Thank God for friends who see the signs of serious breakdown and thank God for a son who enjoys his breaks from his mother :). I guess we will see what tomorrow brings, huh?

Laura Araujo